Scene 1: When we roam around Chennai, we hear people speaking Tamil with an imported English accent, Hindi with a broken regional accent (Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam) and English with a halting Hindi accent. Picture these guys together in a group discussion: A girl starts off her speech with - 'If the government sponsozhs for ejucation, its skejule ....' She rolls her 'r's and cushions her 'd's. Some guys just stare at her and half-heartedly try to figure out what she's speaking. They would make a whole-hearted effort if they felt certain that she was only speaking English, a language that till now they thought they could read, write and speak. Midway, a mallu guy interrupts her 'What you are saiying is simbly for bissi Kol-iage (busy college) students'. One other Hindi girl joins in 'But you peepal are talking about enjunyers, na?' The coordinator, who is a perfect Chennai-ite, born and bred, gets carried away by the scene and says, 'okay Chod dho, tayam over. Allaam break poitu vaanga!'Scene 2: Koreans generally have difficulty in pronouncing 'r' in English. They say 'l' in place of 'r' most times. So this Korean guy, my friend, would go to the supermarket and ask - 'A kg of lice, please' After some blinking, I would say 'he means - a kg of rice', and the guy at the counter would give him a kg of rice. Sometimes, when we get drenched in rain, my friend would say with feeling 'Fuck the lain!'. When we were near a flooded river, he said to me - 'More water is bad for the liver.' I said 'I thought it was alcohol that was bad for the liver.' He gave me one of those looks and said pointing at the river with taut fingers - 'I mean liver, not liver.' After that I laughed till tears trickled down my eyes and he laughed with me, mumbling from time to time - 'Fucking English!' I always called his way of speaking - the Hyundai Accent - what with Hyundai being from Korea and all. Once we were at a party and making some conversation when my friend remarked 'The glass is cleaner on the other side!'. I was about to quip in 'he means - the grass is greener on the other side' when I caught myself. The guy had managed to make sense this time, even if it was by acc(id)ent! The new guys turned it over in their heads and when enlightenment dawned, we all smiled approvingly. My friend beamed at me and said, tapping a vein on his temple 'Clever, yeah?'
