Key to the door

“You think you’ve arrived, doncha?” he said. “I hate to break it to you but you’re only in the first room.” He paused. “It’s not nothing—don’t get me wrong—but it’s not that great either. Believe me, there are plenty of people in this town who got to the first room and then didn’t get any further. After a year or so, maybe longer, you’ll discover a secret doorway at the back of the first room that leads to the second room. In time, if you’re lucky, you’ll discover a doorway in the back of the second room that leads to the third. There are seven rooms in total and you’re in the first. Doncha forget it.” 

This was Graydon’s ‘seven rooms’ speech in the book and later film 'How to lose friends and alienate people.'

It does seem that to grow and move towards the next room is most important. Or else we keep going round the same room, rating the same rants, stuck with the same prejudices. And our state of being is not a dynamic equilibrium. We are not moved or surprised by events. We don't lose ourselves and later simmer down to our normal state. Instead, nothing seems to take us out of that room. We have closed down the windows and doors. We remain static. Set in a fixed temperament. 

Whatever we do in that room is less significant than getting out of that room. Growing out of it, rather. Just as individual achievements are secondary to the result - pass or fail. Have you moved to the next class? There you get more exposure. Eventually there will be a time when you can choose subjects which you love to study and ignore those that don't excite you. However, it is important to get there. And to get there, we have to keep moving to the next room. 

Doing your job and just that!

A sense of wonder combines with an expansive spaciousness when some new perspective is introduced to the mind, usually through books. The mind just shifts paradigms or enlarges its views. It is an exhilarating feeling. And it feels empowering, even if the paradigm is one of pathos or of bitter truth. So I have grown fond of reading books. New ways to look at life, new dimensions to explore the world. I would want to see things in entirety through these understandings. I would perhaps want to come to an idea of a big picture and then chalk out my place in it. Which is, as a famous biologist put it, infinitesimally small in the unfeeling immensity of the universe.

But say I manage to gather an idea about all of this stuff, how would that affect me? Perhaps it would help me go about my day to day activities in a different way. What if I apply myself to my day to day activities very well, instead of aspiring to become this or gather that? If I am happy to be a prisoner, content in jail, then the very term loses relevance. I am not in a prison anymore, I might as well be in a Vipassana centre or Shangri la itself. Just as brilliance excites the imagination, humility moves the soul. There is a tension between these two aspects in many facets of our life.

And being present in our workplace, mentally also, posts us in different situations each day. The way we react to them and engage with the people involved throws new insights on how to proceed. It helps us improvise and intervene in issues in a better way.

Perhaps then, doing your job and doing just that, may lead to a deeper appreciation of what is going on all around. And perhaps, studying other issues and books, would help us do our daily job in a better way. Reinventing ourselves as each new book is finished. Polishing our understanding of theoretical things as each experience is lived through. It may be complementary. Enabling us to do our jobs well and do just that.

An extra second of tickling!

There was a good conversation yesterday afternoon. A healthy exchange of information and ideas. And I felt there was also some shared goodwill. How did this particular conversation get that flavour? Before the conversation took place I had been deliberately silent for at least two hours. Something from those hours extended to the conversation. the silence out me in a mindset where I could wait and watch. During dialogues, it gives that extra second to pause and reflect. To really listen. And perhaps ask clarifying questions or collect my thoughts on the topic. Instantly, the process itself is more genuine, the words that come out are meant by the person speaking them. That pause of one second. It also quality checks our statements. Am I saying what I am about to say for self aggrandizement? Is it true? Is it a standard rehearsed reply? That helps. Can't underestimate that extra second.

Every conversation hinges heavily on the way it begins. The first greetings are important. More than wit or smartness, affection/respect helps set the right tone. After the initial greeting and pleasantries, it then boils down to listening and observing. Noting down interesting points helps. And keeping 'to do' lists are also very helpful. To get on with life, 'to do' list is the only management tool necessary. When you look at it that way, life seems to be one long 'to do' list. Of course, the aesthetics of living is for self consumption. It tickles you everyday in myriad ways.

At night, there was a compromise. that gave a way forward. Being true to ourselves, as far as our understanding allows us to be, helps us during tricky times. And relationships are strong when one doesn't bluff the other. So 'I don't bluff you, you don't bluff me' works pretty well, especially in tough situations. It adds a certain grace to the occasion. Activates the humour compartment and lends levity to the surroundings. With all these elements, truth can be addressed and the situation can be handled. So you tackle it and then life tickles you and then it is a tango of tickle-tackle, tickle-tackle.

Sailing in the sea

''You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts'' says Kahlil Gibran.

There isn't any hurry. Or any loss. When you can live with yourself amicably. Some days, you just want to go through once. Others, you wish you had done them differently. Nevertheless, there are certain themes running through the phases of my life. Right now, the themes are about doing my work properly and being a good family man. However there is a strong undercurrent. The mind is trying to acquire a coherent worldview. It often leads to the moral questions of living and working. Do I believe that morality has a place? If so, what are the contours of mine? 

"And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart, you live in your lips" 

The more I think about this, the more I am assured that I need not think so much about it. Things are fine the way they are. However, I do wish to slow down. Not as a lifestyle thing. But in my mind. To slow down and dig deeper. Place myself in placid waters. At the same time to be disciplined and skillful. 

"And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered. For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly."

People I've admired in life have been people with skills. And they have been soulful. The respect for their sharp minds was as profound as the endearing yearning for their restrained companionship. The more I train my resilience muscle, the more I increase my mind's capacity to digest things completely, the more I can listen and see.   

"And there are those who talk, and without knowledge or forethought reveal a truth which they themselves do not understand."

For both of these things, I think silence helps. it checks impulse, lets one sink his feet into the day and get a feel of things. 

"And there are those who have the truth within them, but they tell it not in words. In the bosom of such as these the spirit dwells in rythmic silence."

Of the many ways to get to patience, silence probably is one. Of the many ways to get to peace, patience probably is one.